I think it deserves a chance. You're sprite work is very competent, and you're grammar is improved over some of your previous works. Although there were a few sentences that were off. I had two major problems with this. First, it was a little too much like SMBZ episode 1. Person finds powerful object, villain comes and kills them, Mario & friends having competition, Bowser crashes party.
The second thing and my biggest beef is that you called this the "Official sequel series to SMBZ!" That's a pretty bold claim. I hate to break it too you, but it can't be "official" unless Alvin gave you his okay, which I find that to be highly unlikely. So for now, it's just KaijuKing's SMBZ fan series spinoff.